No longer a Slave…

I have recently combating fear and anxiety, with praise. I had heard it said that praise makes the shackles fall off and the imprisoned are set free.

Life is hard, it’s true. Pain and problems are ways to demonstrate our trust in Jesus. Simply saying I love you Jesus, I trust you Jesus has gotten me through a lot. And it has been a difficult season for me.

But I have held on.

I find strength in the songs we sing, encouragement from friends and family, and hope in the word and my devotionals. He can bring good out of everything. And I am seeing it.

Things have turned for me, finally, at last!

My life is about to change…completely.


Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for the wonderful things he has done for them. Let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving and sing joyfully about his glorious acts.  Psalm 107: 21-22



I shamelessly stole that from Steven Furtick. Mainly because homies a genius, his knowledge is sound, and it’s right out of the bible.

Today was one of my most discouraging yet. Currently I am living a split life. At my church, I am a youth pastor with my fiance’ and we work hard building church. I drive an hour to get there multiple times a week and usually work all day Wednesday and then all day Sunday through both of our weekend services, and I really do love it. I am proud of what I do there, and grateful for my church family.

But then I drive back to where I currently live where I am employed in a temp position two days a week for a international shoe production company, as a studio photographer. I only get to see my fiance (who lives an hour away, near the church) for about three hours a night, maybe three times a week, we do have Saturday usually, which is a Godsend. It has been…very hard for us.

It’s absolute murder to have my life divided right down the middle, to be so far away from my fiance, and waiting for the right apartment to pop up so we can get married right away, looking for a fitting job, trying not to get burnt out…

The hardest days are the ones where I feel led into despair. I thank God for my family, my friends and my most encouraging fiance. I’ve tried to do so much on my own steam for so long, I just can’t do it anymore. But I have to believe that I am the closest to my calling, as the desire to give up, is terribly strong. I have to believe that through all this, He is working all things to the good of those who love the lord.

Relying on my Sovereign Lord to lift my head and give me good news in the week to come.

Don’t count on your warhorse to give you victory- for all its strength, it cannot save you. ~Psalm 33 : 17

Learning to listen…


And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 1 Kings 19 :12

I’ve realized that the booming voice, the neon light I’ve been waiting for from God explaining to me that I am finally doing it right, is never going to come.

I’ve been learning to listen to the stillness, for the quiet.

I love that verse. It makes me think that after such turbulent times, after great rushes of sound. In the stillness comes, the sound of a gentle whisper, to speak into my soul.


Awesome article on Relevant :

Moving on From a Mistake Doesn’t Have to be Hard

Yes, you will make mistakes. No, you do not have to wallow in them.

In the classic ’80s movie Back to the Future, Marty McFly journeys back in time to fix the mistakes of his dysfunctional family. Spoiler alert: He succeeds just in the nick of time with the help of Christopher Lloyd and Hollywood’s all-time coolest time-traveling DeLorean.

The franchise is built on a simple idea: Wouldn’t it be nice to change the past?

Unfortunately, there is no DeLorean that can alter the painful events that occurred a decade, a year or even a moment ago. Our mistakes aren’t any different—mulligans in life are just not possible.

Mistakes come in a myriad of shapes and sizes. Some are minuscule and can be easily whisked away. Others are epic and can lead to long-term regret.

But, the solution isn’t brooding over them. Dwelling on past mistakes is much like squirming around in quicksand—it only pulls us deeper into the hole. What we need is a solid rope to get us unstuck. But instead, we often receive one-liners such as “It’s not a big deal,” “Get over it,” or “Don’t worry about it.”

The list below is not a magical formula, but just a few points that will support a foundation for relieving our past mistakes. Hopefully, these pillars provide the solid cable we need to free us from the mud that incessantly seeks to bury us.

Embrace Your Humanness.

The first pillar to stand upon is to know that we are all human. We all make mistakes—they are inherent to who we are we are. The playing field is leveled, therefore, because we call relate to falling short in some way, shape or form. Some of us, like me, probably even have a special blooper reel in heaven. Whatever the gravity, however, we can all relate to missing the mark.

Thankfully, God gives us plenty of other real-life ragamuffins to whom we can relate. The Apostle Peter denied Jesus three times in public, but then became a patriarch of the faith. We also read of an insolent son in Luke 15 who abhorrently takes his father’s inheritance. The story ends with him returning home to an exuberant father who receives him with open arms. As The Book of Romans states, “None is righteous, no, not one.”

Know that Punishment Has Already Been Handed Down.

I’m thankful Jesus became a human being and understands our weaknesses. Not all mistakes are sins, but all sins are mistakes. Where we have directly offended God, Jesus died for whatever you did or didn’t do. And through His death and resurrection, our identity of “human sinner” is overruled by a new identity: “redeemed child of God.”

Because of this new affiliation, there is no need to continue torturing ourselves. Jesus already endured the ultimate pain and suffering so we wouldn’t have to. When He was nailed to a Roman cross, Jesus took on all of our sins and mistakes—big and small, past, present and future.

Get out of perdition and accept forgiveness. Then (and this might be difficult, but it is possible), forgive yourself.

Keep the Lesson. Lose the Baggage.

Who sold us the lie that we need to dwell on our mistakes? On the contrary, our mental health would greatly benefit from actually neglecting them. This certainly doesn’t mean denying the shameful parts of our story. It only means their negative power doesn’t have the power to keep us stuck. Then, we can choose, on our own timetable, when to give them attention.

This process is similar to scuba diving for treasure. We swim below to the deteriorating vessel in search of meaningful artifacts. When we dig up precious relics (memories), we can gladly take those with us. But when rusted, unusable ones are found, we are free to leave them behind. In fact, let them decay. If we do, the negative emotional impact of our mistakes will fade over time.

Focus on Moving Forward.

The future doesn’t change the past, but it soundly trumps it. If previous events painted a bleak picture, let the brushstrokes of hope create a more colorful future.

Think about it: Life seen as a marathon is difficult enough to run facing forward. But people who get stuck in the past have the added burden of running the same endurance race backward. It’s counterproductive to move in one direction while looking in another. Turn around. Potholes are much easier to avoid when we focus on what is ahead.

Even though we can’t change our past with a time machine or superpowers, we shouldn’t be discouraged. Even in our human state of constant repair, we have One who has already fixed our most important problems. So we can learn from our mistakes, look to the future and walk in the freedom of His forgiveness.


Never alone


It is not necessary to be continually speaking to God, or always hearing from God, in order to have communion or fellowship with Him, for there is an unspeakable fellowship that is sweeter than words. A little child can sit all day long beside his mother, totally engrossed in his playing, while his mother is consumed by her work, and although both are busy and few words are spoken by either, they are in perfect fellowship. The child knows his mother is there, and she knows that he is all right.

In the same way, a believer and his Savior can continue many hours in the silent fellowship of love. And although the believer may be busy with ordinary things of life, he can be mindful that every detail of his life is touched by the character of God’s presence, and can have the awareness of His approval and blessing.

~Streams in the Desert

Our darkest hour


This year for me has been a series of rather unfortunate events. With a few MAJOR highlights.

I found the man I am meant to marry, and will be marrying him soon.

I started my own business and love what I do.

I met and fell in love with a bunch of rascally teens, who welcomed me into their hearts and made me a believer in my own abilities as a leader.

I discovered that my family, will always be there for me.

And I try to focus on those good things, when it all gets dark. When the walls move in, and the floor gives out, there is no ceiling to speak of and soon enough you are Sandra Bullock spinning perpetually out of control in zero gravity and using up all your oxygen because you just can’t chill out!

Yea. I’ve been there.

I’m there.


You may have to experience the very worst before you are delivered, but you will be delivered! God may keep you waiting, but he will always remember His promise and will appear in time to fulfill His sacred Word that cannot be broken. ~ F.B. Meyer

If there is anything I’ve learned about trials, it’s that I’m scrappy, and I’m strong, and God made me that way. I pray to Him for peace, and understanding, and sometimes all I get is peace.

God in His providence has a thousand keys to open a thousand different doors in order to deliver His own, no matter how desperate the situation may have become. May we be faithful to do our part, which is simply to suffer for Him, and to place Christ’s part on Him and then leave it there. ~ George MacDonald.

Anxiety : Let it go son!

I’ll be the first to admit. I am rather plagued by anxiety.

I have one of those minds that generally jumps to the worst conclusion, and also, never seems to shut off.

Every season is different. And in every season we learn new things. In some seasons we learn the same things over and over because we clearly didn’t get it the first time.

When I think of what causes me the most distress from time to time, it is definitely money. There never seems to be enough of it, I’m not working hard enough to make it, there has to be an easier way.

I can’t control that though. So why worry!!!IMG_20140413_145317

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving. present your requests to God. ~Phillipians 4:6

Sometimes verses have too many commas in them, and the straight forward meaning gets garbled to me. I break down Phil 4:6 this way : Hey! Don’t worry man [woman], God is in control! You don’t have to worry about a single, little, itty-bitty thing. Be thankful for what you do have. You are alive. There is a God that loves you. He has proven His love via His sacrifices, just for you. He wants a personal relationship with you. And He wants to take care of you. The things you need, all you need to do is prayerfully consider what you want, and bring that petition before the Christ-man. He loves you, and He is going to help.

That’s how I see it anyway.

I do get anxious. But I am working toward gathering up His peace and smothering my life with it. Truly, it is the best anti-aging serum there is out there. And He offers it up freely. He took on the cost, in blood and stripes.

One of my teachers told me last week, that when he feels anxiety, he knows that it is because he it focusing too much on himself, and not enough on God, and what God has planned.

If you find yourself feeling off. Check your heart, and revisit your day to discover where you first got bent up, when you find the thing that threw you off, cut it out, and replace it with the peace and calm of Christ. It is a good mental activity that promotes taking control of those wild human emotions you have there. 😉

Peace be yours.