In the wild

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Yesterday I spent most of my time in the woods with my father.

We dropped two trees and he taught me how to use a chainsaw. We spent the day sawing trees to pieces and then splitting them by hand.

The trees, once alive, now standing dead, sound like giants falling. Your heart is in your throat and you watch it tip, fear, and awe filling your senses. I respect the time it took for them to grow so big, mourn that they died, and celebrate that they will keep us warm this winter by heating our home.

I’ve always been one of those people who feels closer to God amid nature. I feel He draws nearer to me the further away I get from other folks. Not to say people are bad, because people are great.

He is just out there in the woods, in the mountains, unadulterated and ready to talk.

Working like that with my hands and body, so different from my computer work, takes me back to a different time. When work was survival. It was food, it was heat, it was what you needed to make it through a season.

It was so good for me. In so many ways.

“To the desert go prophets and hermits; through desert go pilgrims and exiles. Here the leaders of the great religions have sought the therapeutic and spiritual values of retreat, not to escape but to find reality.”

Paul Shepard, Man in the Landscape: A Historic View of the Esthetics of Nature

Life now…

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Hit Artprize today with my beau, got in a little early on the action as it doesn’t really begin until tomorrow.

We stopped and had coffee and tea and prayed and then planned out the next 6 months of our lives together.

Life has been so strange lately, and probably some of the hardest days I’ve encountered thus far. I have to thank my family, and those friends that stood by me, young and old to help me through this difficult time. Family is so dear, and they have truly saved me in more ways than one.

I am grateful to my Savior for his blessings, the starting of my own freelance business, the restoration of my sweet sweet man, and the chance to dream of an even brighter future. As friends have fallen by the way side I have a new take on popular opinion and what it is to know my own mind. I am grateful for these days. Hard though they may be, and missed may be former friends, but the best really and truly is yet to come.

Amen.

A

Stylin’

Pretty much have the break down on my main styles. And here they are:

This is my usual supa clean vector style :

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And this is a newer style that I am just in love with. But I may be alone there. Haha, everyone that I have talked too prefers the first very clean little eggy. What do you think!?

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Life Event : I am engaged. [insert excited screaming here]

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Let me just say I went a very long time not thinking I would ever marry. People just don’t get me. And dudes? never had a chance when it came to trying to understand me.

I was raised in a Christian home where purity was treasured and where I was taught to respect and take care of my body. I started wearing a two piece purity ring when I entered college, and I have worn it everyday since. It served to frighten off many a creep. And to remind me of my promise, to myself, my God, and if he was out there, my future husband. 

Then my life changed.

When I came to Grand Haven a year ago, it was alone. I came alone, I lived alone, it was a lonely kind of story.

Then I started attending a church out here instead of traveling each Sunday to attend one I had spent most of high school attending.

So I found this church. And then all the sudden I found this family. And a set of friends like I never thought I would find.

And in the midst of those friends….I found a man.

I knew from the moment I met Mat I loved him. At this point I had never been in love before. But I knew that what I felt, was love at first sight. I knew this was dangerous, I could really get my heart broke if I wasn’t careful. I reached out to friends for council, was this love?  was this the right guy?

Before this starts sounding way too much like the Drew Barrymore classic Never been kissed, I shall press on.

When I met Mat, ha! He didn’t want a girlfriend.

And today, a week before I turn 27 (the same age my mother married at) that man asked me to be his wife!

I’ll tell you how he did it just for laughs.

He took me to the zoo, we walked all the way up to the balcony that overlooks the lions, and he asked me to be his Queen of the jungle! Hahahaha! Right there in front of most of the animal kingdom. Which is cool, cuz I like animals, and often I mesh with animals far better that I do their human counterparts.

So I said yes, put the too big ring on my finger, and then we spent the rest of the day hanging out with grizzly bears.

Mat and I have always dated with the intent of finding a mate. We did everything in all the right ways, praying, working, and playing together. And we have both grown so incredibly much in the past year.

I guess the story goes that I will be leaving Grand Haven soon. But I won’t be leaving alone, like I had come.

Looking to be married very soon, I will be hitting the next chapter in this awesome adventure with my best friend, and at that time husband, and spiritual partner.

I thank God for letting me find someone who loves Jesus as much as I do, who encourages me when I am broken, and stands by me when under fire. And I can’t believe how fortunate I am to have found this perfect match. This one in a flippin’ million. Singer of bad rap songs, teller of bad jokes, wearer of tight pants, and twin to my heart, twin to my soul. 

This is just the beginning, and the rest, I guess, is history. :)

Wahoo!

Amen.

A

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